Stop being so hard on yourself
If you are interested in the pursuit of excellence, it is often too easy to focus on what you perceive as your flaws. A little critical self-evaluation is a good thing, too much focus can be destructive. This is one of my growth areas, as I tend to dwell on what I need to change in myself, rather than living positively.
I’ve been thinking on this the last couple days and came up with the following random thoughts:
- You find what you look for. If you go looking for what’s wrong with yourself, then that’s what you will find. Try looking for positive leadership qualities, you may surprise yourself.
- You are who you see yourself as. I heard a very wise man utter this phrase and it has stuck with me since. If you see yourself as a manager, you will act as a manager. If you see yourself as a leader, then you will act as a leader. If you see a flawed individual, full of weaknesses, then you will act accordingly. It is very powerful to think we can change how we act simply by seeing ourselves in a new light.
- Conversely, you are not who/what others see you as. Relationships and personal interactions are tangled webs of perception, emotion, bias, expectations and assumption. It has been my experience that whenever someone tells you their evaluation of “who you are”, it is much more likely they are speaking to how they perceived you in relation to their expectations of a particular interaction. Listen to the comments of others and don’t discount criticism, but also don’t assume others know you better than yourself.
- Your energy flows where your thoughts go. This was a favorite saying of my martial arts instructor, but I like what it has to say in this context also. If there is an aspect of yourself that you believe could be improved, then decide to change it. Write down what it will mean to change it, practice that new behaviour every day, think positively about the change every day, rinse and repeat for a month or two. You can change yourself, it simply takes focus and commitment.
That’s what has come to me over the last couple days noodling on this topic. I’d love to hear how you all handle not becoming too focused on your “areas of improvement”.
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