How to be successful AND stay married
I’m a huge fan of Inc. Magazine. I love two things about it. First, it just works – the magazine is laid out intelligently, offers great content and just looks good. More importantly, and the real reason I’m such a fan, is the real-world context that permeates almost all of the articles, whether written by guest columnist or staff writers. This pragmatism is in effect across the entrepreneurship spectrum – whether it’s a lifestyle entrepreneur writing about her five figure business, or executives discussing businesses with a couple additional zeros – I rarely read articles tainted by the arrogance of intellect or success.
I especially liked a quick little article in the recent December 2009 issue entitled House Rules: Ten gentle suggestions for keeping the domestic seas tranquil. Written by Meg Hirshfeld, writer and wife of Gary Hirshberg (who just happens to be CEO of Stonyfield Yogurt), the article lays out a list of simple suggestions Meg and Gary developed together for “entrepreneurs who aspire to a happy marriage and thriving family life.”
I’ll bullet the list here, but I highly suggest you click over to the article for Meg and Gary’s more complete thoughts for each suggestion. It’s a quick read.
- You are not the boss at home.
- Set the bar low. But set it somewhere. (As in, make time for time together. As Meg so aptly puts it “Being together reminds you that you enjoy being together. And that reminds both of you why this enormous undertaking is worthwhile.”
- Please, turn off the Blackberry.
- When a big business decision looms, give your spouse a seat at the table.
- Enter your spouse’s universe from time to time.
- Make her communications a priority.
- Don’t squeeze her in.
- Treat your spouse like she’s your most important client.
- Acknowledge her role.
- Take frequent inventory.
My thoughts
I’ve been doing a lot of research over the last year on the topic of interpersonal relationships: why certain people gravitate together, the dynamics of relationship stages, and the difficulties in developing and maintaining long-term, constructive, meaningful relationships. This focused research has taken place on top of my normal business reading, both books and magazines.
What’s surprised me a bit is not just how much both bodies of work have in common, but how applicable each is to the other. While Meg’s list above is written from the context of keeping your marriage happy when one spouse is a workaholic entrepreneur, the suggestions are just as applicable for any couple. Likewise, all the material I’ve been reading about interpersonal relationships contain a wealth of actionable thoughts on developing and maintaining authentic relationships based on respect and trust at work. Something I think we can all agree is often in short supply.
Perhaps my thoughts are colored by the stage of life I’m at. Being later in my career with much more responsibility than I had in earlier jobs, the line between my business and personal life has blurred quite a bit over the years. But while it’s a fair question to ask, I would suggest that the answer really doesn’t matter. If we can strengthen, even deepen, our relationships at work and at home, who cares what aisle of the bookstore helped us?
Comments are open
What do you think? Do you agree that relationships, whether at work or at home, follow similar “rules”? Is there a relationship lesson you’ve learned professionally that you applied in your personal life, or vice versa? What suggestions would you offer entrepreneurs to keep a happy marriage and a thriving family life?
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