Farewell, my friend
The E-Mail came across late in the day when most of us are trying to wrap up a few last tasks and our minds have already started to drift off to the evening’s activities.
The subject was “FW: bad news”, generally not a good sign.
The message was from someone who used to be on the Board of a small non-profit with me. He was forwarding a brief message notifying several parties that a mutual colleague had just passed away:
it is with heavy heart that i am letting you know that our most dear friend … died today
This individual is (was – gosh, that’s hard to get used to) on the same Board with me. The message came as a real shock as I had just talked with this person the morning before at length on a couple issues. Being on a Board together, we saw each other at least twice a month, sometimes more. It was just so… sudden.
I’ve had an infrequent conversation with a couple friends of mine as to how we each define a “friend”. What is a friend versus a colleague? When does a casual acquaintance cross over into friendship? Or are they friends from the start, and then just become better/deeper/older friends? I now have a new element to add to the discussion. Business colleague, casual acquaintance or friend – when the news comes that they just died, you immediately know which category they were in.
Dave was definitely a friend, deeper than I had thought.
I didn’t know Dave enough to be able to tell you which way he is headed, but I can tell you that wherever he ended up it is now a much louder place where people are laughing and having a lot more fun than they did yesterday.
The short note that ended the E-Mail perhaps said it best:
it is an understatement to say that we will all miss him. a man with a giant heart. but a heart that could take no more.
Rest in peace, Dave.
If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
David –
I am so sorry for your loss. It’s strange how unprepared/caught off-guard we are to accept and deal with death. I dread receiving my high school alumni newsletter because I always seem to know names in the “final roll call.” And, even though I haven’t seen many of these people in MANY years, it still levels me every time.
I don’t think we make a clearcut transition between colleague and friend. It happens in a stealth-like fashion. Strangely in most workplaces, friendships develop in the midst of challenge/adversity/turmoil when we have a common focus and determination. We get to see our colleagues true colors and it paves the way for trust/distrust.
I hope you have some lighter, hopeful moments in your day my friend.
/cb