Simple Mom recently published a post on tips for handling “extended family holiday stress”.   That’s a very polite way of expressing what most of us know to be a truth during this time of year, and what is succinctly described by the post’s author in the opening paragraphs:

My father-in-law aptly stated it this way: one of the best things about the holidays is seeing the headlights of family members coming up the driveway to visit. The second best thing about the holidays is seeing their taillights as they drive away.

I think we can all relate!

The post is much more than just inside jokes about family relations though, and offers some practical, and positive tips on coping with can be stressful family situations during what should be a joyous time of year.  I particularly like the author’s point of view on what ultimately is most important, as tip #1 is “Your Spouse Comes First”.

This is a great little article and I highly recommend you check it out: 8 Tips for Handling Extended Family Stress During the Holidays.

Stay sane.  Stay positive.

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Just in Time – Destressing the holidays

Anyway, I took the time to read the E-Mail to see I had five pending connection requests.  So I clicked over to the site and all five requests were from people I:

• Didn’t know
• Didn’t take the time to introduce themselves, and
• Clearly just wanted to sell me something

I don’t want to beat up on Plaxo here, but I am wondering.  How many of you use Plaxo consistently?  How would you rate it versus LinkedIn?  Am I missing something by not using it actively?

For those of you who prefer contributing via radio buttons, here’s a nice little poll for you.

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Plaxo, anyone?

“DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.  Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.  Papa says, ‘If you see it in THE SUN it’s so.  Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?”

“Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” is the famous reply we all know by heart, and probably use from time to time over the holidays.  The full article from which this reply is taken offers a much deeper lesson to consider over the holiday.

In 1897, Dr. Philip O’Hanlon, a coroner’s assistant on Manhattan’s Upper West Side, was asked by his then eight-year-old daughter, Virginia (1889-1971), whether Santa Claus really existed. Virginia had begun to doubt there was a Santa Claus, because her friends had told her that he did not exist.

Dr. O’Hanlon suggested she write to the New York Sun, a prominent New York City newspaper at the time, assuring her that “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” While he may have been passing the buck, he unwittingly gave one of the paper’s editors, Francis Pharcellus Church, an opportunity to rise above the simple question, and address the philosophical issues behind it.

Church was a war correspondent during the American Civil War, a time which saw great suffering and a corresponding lack of hope and faith in much of society. Although the paper ran the editorial in the seventh place on the editorial page its message was so moving that more than a century later it remains the most reprinted editorial ever to run in any newspaper in the English language.

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

(Source: Wikipedia)

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The real Santa Claus

Check out FreeShippingDay.com for a list of LARGE list of online merchants offering free shipping today only!  Many of your favorite retailers are on the list, including Dick’s, Dell, Johnston-Murphy (my favorite), Kohls, etc. etc.

Procrastinators – Go. Click. Buy.

(And no, I don’t get any kickback for the promotion.  I’m really just trying to help.)

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Shop @ lunch, get free shipping

I will be enoying a couple days off and time with friends and family.   I will not be publishing a Weekend Reader this Friday – I’m giving myself a complete break from work and personal obligations and look forward to recharging some batteries.

In the meantime, here’s two articles I found very appropriate for the holiday:

• Embracing positive psychology to teach our kids to be happy
• Highlights from the research project on Gratitude and Thanksgiving

Have a great holiday and do take some time to give thanks for all that is good in your life.

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Holiday plans

I got one of those over the weekend.  Checking my work E-Mail, I had a message from someone I didn’t recognize.  There was no signature, no introduction, no marketing – literally nothing to help me figure out where the message came from.

I really have no idea if this is a message that was sent directly to me, or if it is just someones little experiment, but here’s what was in the message:

Be understanding to your perceived enemies.
Be loyal to your friends.
Be strong enough to face the world each day.
Be weak enough to know you cannot do everything alone.
Be generous to those who need your help.

Be frugal with that you need yourself.
Be wise enough to know that you do not know everything.
Be foolish enough to believe in miracles.
Be willing to share your joys.
Be willing to share the sorrows of others.

Be a leader when you see a path others have missed.
Be a follower when you are shrouded by the mists of uncertainty.
Be first to congratulate an opponent who succeeds.
Be last to criticize a colleague who fails.
Be sure where your next step will fall, so that you will not tumble.

Be sure of your final destination, in case you are going the wrong way.
Be loving to those who love you..
Be loving to those who do not love you; they may change.
Above all, Be yourself.

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A surprise package in the mail

The subject was “FW: bad news”, generally not a good sign. 

The message was from someone who used to be on the Board of a small non-profit with me.  He was forwarding a brief message notifying several parties that a mutual colleague had just passed away:

it is with heavy heart that i am letting you know that our most dear friend … died today

This individual is (was – gosh, that’s hard to get used to) on the same Board with me.  The message came as a real shock as I had just talked with this person the morning before at length on a couple issues.  Being on a Board together, we saw each other at least twice a month, sometimes more.  It was just so… sudden. 

I’ve had an infrequent conversation with a couple friends of mine as to how we each define a “friend”.  What is a friend versus a colleague?  When does a casual acquaintance cross over into friendship?  Or are they friends from the start, and then just become better/deeper/older friends?  I now have a new element to add to the discussion.  Business colleague, casual acquaintance or friend – when the news comes that they just died, you immediately know which category they were in.

Dave was definitely a friend, deeper than I had thought.

I didn’t know Dave enough to be able to tell you which way he is headed, but I can tell you that wherever he ended up it is now a much louder place where people are laughing and having a lot more fun than they did yesterday.

The short note that ended the E-Mail perhaps said it best:

it is an understatement to say that we will all miss him.  a man with a giant heart.  but a heart that could take no more.

 Rest in peace, Dave.

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Farewell, my friend

So I’m driving to visit an associate of mine who recently took a job as President/CEO of a small manufacturing company.  The company is in an area of town I haven’t really been to before, but it’s right off the highway in an industrial park area.

I get off the highway and the first company I see is a decent-sized building right on the corner.  The large sign out front says: Integrity Communications.

Wait for it…

The lot was empty.

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Too good to pass up